Cabin Fever 2 Tweet Review

Most weekends we watch  (mostly terrible ) horror films. Tonight’s pick was Cabin Fever 2. I usually tweet whilst watching.  In case you don’t follow me on Twitter, here are my thoughts.Oh yes, and Spoilers!**
From the blurb:

Ti West directs this gross-out sequel to Eli Roth’s 2002 horror comedy. When John (Noah Segan) decides to accompany his best friend Cassie (Alexi Wasser) to the high school prom, he quickly realises there is going to be a lot more to worry about than Cassie’s jealous boyfriend. What starts out as a fun-filled evening quickly descends into a nightmarish fight for survival when the bottled water provided for the event becomes infected with a devastating flesh-eating virus. With the school put under quarantine and the students and teachers rapidly succumbing to the sickness, John and Cassie must fight for survival, even battling their infected friends in order to escape. 

  • High school bus takes out infected man.
  • Hick policeman tells driver it was probably a moose.
  • Way-too old-to-be-a-high-school-student protagonist has crush on school bully’s girl.
  • Fat sidekick tells him to grow a pair.
  • School bully (Mark ) psychically senses Old High school Student (OHS) is trying to steal his girl, and beats the crap out of him.
  • Principle chastises OHS even though Mark clearly beat the crap out of him…
  • Meanwhile Fat Sidekick  (FSK) is given a blow job by a girl with a cold sore and braces.
  • OHS rejected by his crush.
  • They all decide to go to the prom instead of watching an awesome slasher film.. yeah, I don’t know why either.
  • Evil Jock gets the fat girl with a crush on him to go skinny dipping with him for a bet. 
  • There’s something in the water folks!
  • Fat sidekick’s fingernail is coming off… he superglues it back on.
  • Old black caretaker pees in the punch and leaves an extra present. 
  • Fat girl and evil Jock are having sex in the pool and she starts to fall apart…literally…
  • Love Fat Sidekick’s powder blue tux. Classy.
  • Suspicious hick policeman is starting to suspect it wasn’t a moose the  school bus hit…
  • Don’t drink the punch. Some high school traditions are timeless.
  • The water here is bad news man. Suspicious cop is onto the evil water corporation.
  • 70s throwback security guard is killed for stickin’ it to the man.
  • OHS is going to drink the punch! 
  • OHS’s Crush shows up with the school bully. He’s a charmer ladies.
  • What is wrong with the teachers at this school?
  • Hmmmm, who caused the fight, the good student or the bully… I know who my money’s on.
  • OHS leaves the prom and Crush follows. At least they didn’t drink the punch.
  • OHS and Crush have big fight…is it leading to a snog?
  • Wow this is not a good lighting angle for OHS (under Street lamp) looks like Beast from the 80s TV show.
  • Dodgy water corporation stormtroopers force OHS and Crush back into the school.
  • Oh hi Rick!
  • Crush’s dress is a bit of a Monet…
  • Crush cock blocks Fat Sidekick…Probably for the best all round.
  • It’s time to announce the prom court…oh wait, the prom king is decomposing in the pool.
  • OHS takes the principal to be a big fool.
  • Aaaaand the principal’s  dead. 
  • And people are spewing blood.Why isn’t anyone looking at the prom queen? It’s her day!
  • It’s a good job most of the girls are wearing pastels or we’d never see all the blood.
  • Evil incorporated locks the students in the dance. Obligatory check for sores on our 3 heroes.
  • Crush is OK… Fat sidekick’swilly is infected… OHS is OK.
  • Crush finds pregnant  (?) bleeding girl in loos… she’s binned her baby.
  • Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewww 
  • Oh, there’s the cop. He’s asked his friend  (?) to pick him up. He has light beer wrapped in a brown paper bag. Hard-core. 
  • FSK isn’t looking good people. Awesome appearance by the school mascot.
  • Crappy jump scare that didn’t make me jump.
  • Heroes going up the stairs when they should be going out the window. #horrorcliches 
  • Annoyingly aggressive teacher continues to be a pain in the arse.
  • Bye Felicia.
  • OHS can’t leave FSK.
  • Evil incorporated stormtroopers walk through… dum-dum-dum-lots-of-dead-high-school-kids 🎶
  • Oh Hi Mark!
  • FSK works out what’s going on and is now getting shit all over the library books. Not cool.
  • Who the hell is Mark killing?
  •  Wow. FSK taking inspiration inspiration from Morey Lampley. #longdrawnoutdeath 
  • Butterfingers!
  • When did OHS get infected?
  • Extracurricular woodshop project.
  • The least romantic snog ever…
  • Oh Hi Mark!
  • Crush is going to have a cracking headache in the morning.
  • Nailgun.
  • So, is there a cabin in this film at all?
  • Helicopter spots answer sirens…
  • Lady, OHS is not going to be fine.
  • OHS is losing King of the Ring.
  • Hmmmm, is Crush going to end up like the moose? 
  • What seems to be the problem? Really? She’s screaming and covered in blood? Genius. 
  • Herpes girl is a stripper… Not sure why this is relevant. What am I even saying…
  • Seriously, why the hell is this strip club scene relevant?
  • Stripper gets licked… don’t they have a no-touching rule?
  • Stripper has herpes sores on her boobs… yet the men still want lapdances? Surely no one is that desperate?
  • Stripper voms allover the punter.
  • Gross water disease crosses into Mexico via jelly bean delivery system…
  • and managed to make it to New Orleans in time for Mardi Gras.
  • Wait…that’s the end?
  • So… is this a disease or bacteria? Don’t they need to drink the water to catch it? Confused.
  • Also, what happened to OHS and Crush?

So those were the thoughts I had whilst watching Cabin Fever 2. 

Let me know your thoughts about this film in the comments below, and follow.me on Twitter @little_stephani for more horror film reactions every weekend. 

Cheerio!

Stephani Xxx 

**Character names/ abbreviations are to reflect the rife of horror clichés.  No offence is intended. 

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