So, last year it felt like everything was falling into place; I cut out caffeine, started running again and started eating a vegan diet. I felt AMAZING! My skin was really clear, a few of those evil buggers “fine lines” (okay, wrinkles) started to go away and I lost 42lbs. It seemed like it would be only a matter of time before I was back into my UK size 12’s (US 8), and maybe even, ambitiously, my 10s…
And then I fell off the wagon, rather spectacularly.
I could go into details about my excuses; I am having a lot of problems with my health; I also suffer from depression and losing 2 pets in 3 months didn’t help (sob). I’ve been working away from home a lot… (3 course meals, check). The truth is, I keep promising myself that I will start being healthy again, tomorrow. Well ladies and gentlemen, never a truer word has been spoken than the phrase “tomorrow never comes”; there have been 92 “tomorrows”. I am officially calling an end on the “tomorrow” plan. I have been kidding myself that I haven’t been that bad, whilst secretly bingeing on haribo and cadburys. It has to and will stop.
The problem is, healthy eating is expensive, it is all to easy to buy junk food. When my husband and I first met my weekly food shop was £10-20 a week; I lived on fresh meat, vegetables, salads and fruit. I’ve gone back to vegetarianism/ veganism, so I’m buying fresh vegetables, salads, fruit and grains, and my shopping is £70-100 a week. This is just for my shopping, not including my husband’s food. It is absurd.
So, I have been able to justify, instead of cooking a healthy, veg-heavy (expensive) meal, just grabbing a £2.50 cheesy pizza (that is full of saturated fat and 1000 calories). Instead of breakfast at home, I’m rushing out of the house and getting a venti soya latte with vanilla syrup, and pretending that’s an adequate substitute. Then I put weight on and get upset when my clothes don’t fit, so I reach for comfort food. It’s a vicious cycle.
Supermarkets (grocery stores) are also planned out to intentionally tempt you into buying the unhealthy, treat items such as sweets, crisps, ready meals, ice cream. Have you noticed that the majority of items placed next to the till are naughty foods? It is very rare that I will see healthy snacks, like fruit, placed near the till, so that you can just pop it in your basket. I watched a program on channel four called ‘Secret Eaters’, which said something like 80% of offers in supermarkets are on the unhealthy food groups that should make up only twenty percent of your food intake.
I know that if I just stop, and go back to eating healthily, I will stop craving the bad stuff, because after a month or eating clean, I didn’t give a toss about cheese or ice cream or crisps (chips); now that I’ve got a taste for the stuff I’m like an addict.
To be honest, deep down I’m actually missing the healthy food. I find myself daydreaming about mashed avocado (yum), and bowls of berries, and lightly steamed asparagus; it’s just effort. I am feeling so lazy right now.
I have had to delay my entrance to the half-marathon until next year, on the advice of my doctor, because I am having issues with headaches, pressure in my head and balance problems, but also, I am just not prepared for it. I have signed up for a 10k charity run in June, and am feeling motivated to start running again and start eating healthily instead of talking about it. It’s time to put my money where my mouth is.
I’m working away for the next two week, so I know I’m going to be tempted to just eat the calorific standard meals at the hotel where I’m staying (which has 1 vegetarian option, covered in cheese) and the heavenly desserts…but I’m going to stick to my guns. This blog post is serving as my promise to myself that I will eat cleany, exercise and take care of myself; if I don’t and am still whinging on my blog about my expanding waistline four weeks from now I’ll look like a fool, like a fool (Buffet, Homicide).
Has anyone else strayed to the dark side of the menu, and had problems getting back on track? (Please don’t let it just be me).
*i don’t own the content of this video, Inwas looking for my Friends reference and found it on YouTube; I have no affiliation with the channel.